Frustration & Anger??
In the three mind-blowing days of sessions and workshops that Fr McGuire facilitated for the Sisters, between the 18 - 20 June, I believe I can safely say that the participating Sisters, have been through some emotional and psychological upheavals. Yet the presence of the Holy Spirit was rather powerful and it has truly been a grace-filled experience.

It was edifying to see Sisters, open and ready to see and to acknowledge their various anger blind spots. Having been given a range of no less than ten forms of anger to choose from, it was clearly phenomenal that Sisters could acknowledge which was their 'pet' anger form. Even more heartening was the evidence that despite the claims that there was fear in sharing, Sisters were ready to expose their peculiar form of anger and seek guidance. 		 Styles of Anger

  • Anger avoidance

  • Sneaky anger

  • Paranoid anger

  • Sudden anger

  • Shame based

  • Deliberate anger

  • Addicted anger

  • Habitual anger

  • Moral anger

  • Hate anger

The light and direction that was lucidly expounded by Fr McGuire on the meaning of expectations, wants, needs and values intertwined with sharing within the Sisters' communities were very helpful tools for growth. The necessary movement from expectations that stem from our childhood needs to the adult stances of asking without expectation of a positive response was freeing. 

 Guidance on the difference between assertion, aggression and submission and on the form for clear adult communication, premised on having processed one's own anger status, was dealt with also tremendously beneficial.

Steps for behaviour/action Communication 

1. When you…[to the other]
2. I feel…
3. I want…
a. I wish…
b. I hope… 
c. I require…
[Be specific]

Fr McGuire also clarified that the way to deal with criticism was to:

1. To look at it
2. Acknowledge it if it is true or refute it.
3. See what can be done…

The aspect of fear for varied reasons, which seemed to be a major difficulty, was torn apart when Fr McGuire asked, "where are you living?" We live in a convent and as such, there's no place for fear he reiterated! The children that we used to be were fearful due to entitlements and needs that were not met but as adults we live in a different environment, a good one, the Convent. Truly, he was right Sisters acknowledged… we were here to help people and so, we were bound to first support and love our Sisters! The reminder made a strong impact.

 Yes, anger can be a transforming agent and so, we continue this journey in faith, hope and love, trusting in the powerful intercession of God's Spirit so that we may become true Daughters of Charity, Servants
of the Poor…

By: Sr Christine Santhou

 

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