No one, not even the best of doctors, seemed to know why a varied number of people who seemed to simply have the common flu were ending up critically sick and then, even dying!!  Confident, efficient and highly technological Singaporeans were stunned and literally stumped when the SARS epidemic broke.  How could this happen in the clean, green, first world status of today's Singapore?  But it did... obviously nature and the body-spirit could still leave even the most intelligent quite flabbergasted.

SARS (Severe acute respiratory syndrome) hit home for me when two weeks after the outbreak, I was told that the husband of a childhood friend of mine was critically sick in hospital with SARS.  I was taken aback - how could this happen so close to home... Within 24 hours of my being told he was sick, I was informed that, after being in intensive for barely three weeks, he had died, the ninth victim in Singapore.  He was barely 50 years old and had caught the virus whilst visiting a friend in hospital.  This was indeed shocking.  I worried for my friend, Agnes, whom I knew had long since lost her parents and was not close to her two siblings.  I was also feeling guilty for not having kept in touch for a couple of years - we had been close as sisters...

The Government ruled that all who died of SARS were to be cremated within 24 hours without a wake, so I knew I had to act fast.  I wanted to be there for her at this moment of pain and suffering... I wanted to be available for my friend's grieving and that could include being at the cremation.

The advice to quarantine myself for ten days if I was going for the cremation was something that I had not anticipated... but it was a risk I had to take.  I called Agnes, who upon hearing my voice, burst into tears but quickly restrained herself.  I was lost for words.  She asked for prayers and simply said "Come for the memorial service, I'll see you there", then hung up the phone.

Four days later, at the memorial service, a wailing, weeping woman knelt at the picture of Bong (Agnes's husband), which was placed in the center aisle of the church.  She created quite a stir... then Agnes went to her, hugged her and consoled her.  It was truly a touching scene - the woman was the one whom Bong had visited in hospital and he had consequently contracted the deadly virus.  She wept inconsolably and had to be taken away.

The church was almost full; there were six priests and even the main celebrant wept.  It was the saddest Mass I have ever been to... Agnes sat alone, later a nephew of hers sat at a distance from her.  Her only child, a troubled teenager was absent.  She received condolences stoically, wept quietly, intermittently... the atmosphere was charged with intense pain and mourning.  Agnes spoke during Mass; she spoke of a belief that her husband would continue to be with her...

Speaking to her a few days later, Agnes said that she went on doing what was necessary with a strength that was God-given and simply asked for prayers.  The strength of her faith in this time of crisis has surpassed mine, as I have no words of consolation to offer... only my prayers and the shared belief that Bong will continue to be with her in more loving ways.

By Sr. Christine Santhou

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