Diocese of Pittsburgh
Sketch by Helen Kita - 1998
The following information has been compiled in order to assist couples who are planning to have their wedding at Saint Paul Cathedral Parish. You may scroll down through the pages below, print them for your reference, or click on the links below to quickly jump to the section of interest.
The symbol "§" at the end of each section will return you to the top of this page. Click here to print this page.
The "Contact us" link provides information for phoning or emailing the parish Wedding Coordinator, Music Director, or other personnel. The "Maps & Directions" link provides directions to the Cathedral.
In all civilizations people have sensed a mysterious sacredness about the union of man and woman. There has always been a vague realization that the deep longing for oneness with "the other" is life-giving -- and that it is a longing for oneness with the source of all life. This is why religious rituals and codes of behavior have always been connected with marriage. (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1601-1642)
Jesus instituted the Sacrament of Matrimony, thereby giving marriage a new dimension to the Christian vocation that begins in baptism.
In matrimony a husband and wife are called to love each other in a very practical way: by serving each other's most personal needs; by working seriously at communicating their personal thoughts and feelings to each other so their oneness is always alive and growing. This love is explicitly, beautifully sexual. As Vatican II points out, "Married love is uniquely expressed and perfected by the exercise of the acts proper to marriage" (Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modem World, §49). (CCC 1643-1654)
In matrimony a couple is also called to live their sacrament for others. By their obvious closeness, a couple affects the lives of others with "something special" -- the love of Christ in our midst. They reveal Christ's love and make it contagious to their children and to all who come into contact with them. A major purpose and natural outcome of matrimony is the begetting of new life – children. A couple's love also gives life -- the life of Christ's Spirit -- to other people. (CCC 2366-2367)
A couple does not live a life of love because they happen to be compatible. They do it consciously and deliberately because it is their vocation and because matrimony is called "a great mystery...applying it to Christ and the church" (Ephesians 5:32 ).
Matrimony is much more than a private arrangement between two people. It is a sacramental vocation in and for the Church. It is a medium through which Christ reveals and deepens the mystery of his oneness with us, his Body. Thus, husbands and wives live a truly sacramental life when they follow the advice given in Ephesians 5:21: "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ."
In the Catholic Church, a couple's sacramental union is exclusive (one man with one woman) and indissoluble (till death do us part). These are concrete ways in which the mysterious oneness between husband and wife, Christ and Church, becomes reality. (CCC 2360-2379)
The best thing parents can do for their children is to love each other. Similarly, one of the best things a couple can do for the Church and for the world is to love each other and to strive for greater closeness. (CCC 2201-2231) §
1 A Redemptorist Pastoral Publication, The Essential Catholic Handbook, A Summary of Beliefs, Practices and Prayers, Liguori Publications; Cross-Referenced to the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
Preparing for your wedding day is an exciting and wonderful time in the life of a man and woman in love. The Church shares your excitement and looks forward to helping you. Our faith teaches that it is an even more profound joy to prepare for your married life by entering into the Sacrament of Marriage. Our theological perspective tells us that the Sacrament of Matrimony is a living reflection of God's love, and that you, the bride and groom, "mirror" that reflection of love to each other, as well as to all God's people as you live this Sacrament for the rest of your lives. Couples preparing for this vocation need a clear vision of this Sacrament. That is why the Church is happy to cooperate with you in the celebration of your wedding day which is the beginning of the rest of your lives as a couple married in Christ.
St. Paul Cathedral Parish is particularly happy that you will be celebrating your wedding here. St. Paul Cathedral is both a local parish community of faith, as well as the " Mother Church " of the Diocese of Pittsburgh. In both capacities, St. Paul Cathedral is a church where many weddings are celebrated every year. Those who are registered members of St. Paul Cathedral Parish in good standing have an automatic right to celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage here. Catholics from any other part of the Diocese of Pittsburgh also are welcome to celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage here but will need to make their own arrangements with a priest/deacon. (The priests/deacon of the Cathedral are principally responsible for those who belong to the Cathedral parish. While they may be available to officiate at other weddings, that can not be assumed. If they do so, a pastor's permission must be granted from the pastor of the bride's and/or groom's home parish.)
For the sake of clarity and equity, the following policies and procedures have been established. Please note the distinction within the policy and procedures between active registered members of St. Paul Cathedral Parish, and Catholics who are non-parishioners.
For the sake of definition, an "active registered member of St. Paul Cathedral Parish" is understood to be a practicing Catholic who has been a registered, involved and contributing member of the Parish for at least one year prior to the reservation of a date for a wedding.
A "non-parishioner" is understood to be a Catholic who is not a registered, contributing member of St. Paul Cathedral Parish for the required time period, but is a practicing Catholic and a registered member of a Catholic parish outside the boundaries of the Cathedral Parish. §
The times for weddings to be celebrated at St. Paul Cathedral are Saturday afternoons at 2 p.m. and 4 p.m.
By Diocesan law, no weddings are permitted on Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation.
Because the Cathedral's schedule is very full, every couple must be aware that there are time limitations. While a wedding party can generally figure on beginning arrangements in the Cathedral about one hour prior to the wedding time, this can not always be guaranteed. It is very important that the wedding begin on time. Those who have organized and/or decorated for your wedding are also responsible for cleaning up after (e.g. the removal of ribbons, bows and wedding programs from the pews). This clean up should be done promptly after the completion of the ceremony so that the Cathedral can be ready for the next scheduled liturgical event.
Due to time constraints and other scheduled events, receiving lines are never permitted following a wedding. Permission may be granted by the Wedding Coordinator on a case by case basis for posed photographs before the sanctuary if this is desired by the couple. A decision is made based on sufficient time and if everyone is respectful of the sacred space that they are in. Photographs may be taken outdoors on the Cathedral grounds provided that the parking lot is left accessible to the individuals needing to park for the next scheduled event. §
The Wedding RehearsalRehearsals are generally scheduled the evening before the wedding. Since multiple weddings occur on a given day, a schedule has been established to give the couples a degree of expectation in regard to the time of their rehearsal. A period of 45 minutes will be reserved for this purpose. It is most important that all arrive on time.
The 2:00 p.m. Saturday Wedding: Rehearsal begins at 4:30 p.m. the evening before.
The 4:00 p.m. Saturday Wedding: Rehearsal begins at 5:30 p.m. the evening before.
A REHEARSAL MUST BE CONFIRMED WITH THE WEDDING COORDINATOR.
If your rehearsal has already been confirmed for another date or time please indicate so on your Wedding Application. If you need to change this time, please call the Cathedral's Wedding Coordinator. You will need to make sure the time is agreeable with the priest/deacon who is to officiate.
The priest or deacon who is to officiate at the wedding is expected to be present to conduct the rehearsal. The Wedding Coordinator from St. Paul 's will be present for the rehearsal and will assist in conducting the rehearsal as the priest/deacon wishes.
Please bring with you to the rehearsal your PA State Marriage License and any wedding booklets you plan to distribute. If you are having a Unity Candle ceremony, you may bring those items as well.
The wedding rehearsal is not the rehearsal for musicians. Any necessary music rehearsals should take place at a separate time arranged through the music office. §
Scheduling a Wedding and Rehearsal
The Diocese of Pittsburgh requires that those wishing to be married allow a minimum of six months for the preparation and assessment of the engaged couple to be completed. Therefore initial arrangements for your wedding must be made at least six months prior to the desired date. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT COUPLES WILL NEED TO ATTEND PRE-CANA CLASSES AND MEET WITH THEIR PRIEST/DEACON TO WORK ON THEIR PRE-NUPTIAL FILE---DIOCESAN ASSESSMENT FORMS, (DOCUMENTS OTHER THAN THE PAPERS THE WEDDING COORDINATOR AT THE CATHEDRAL HAS SENT OUT), WITHIN THE SIX MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING DATE.
Inquiries as to dates and times for weddings at St. Paul Cathedral are to be made through the Cathedral's Wedding Coordinator, at which time preliminary questions will be asked to determine your freedom to marry. Requests for dates are handled in the order that they are received. However, a date and time will only be confirmed AFTER the following requirements have been fulfilled:
For active registered members of St. Paul Cathedral Parish:
The first meeting with the priest/deacon from St. Paul Cathedral Parish, whom you have chosen to officiate at your wedding, has been held. He will ascertain your canonical freedom to marry.
A Catholic priest/deacon from another parish or religious institution is welcome to be the official witness for your wedding. In that case, the Pastor of the Cathedral Parish must receive a completed INQUIRY FORM signed by the priest or deacon to officiate . This form attests to your canonical freedom to marry. It also assures the Pastor of St. Paul's that the one officiating will be responsible for making certain the completion of all the required Diocesan papers, obtaining any needed permissions or dispensations, obtaining the necessary delegation, overseeing your marriage preparation classes, and agreeing to conduct the rehearsal and celebrate your wedding. He is to bring all papers to the Cathedral after the wedding to be recorded by the Wedding Coordinator in the Sacramental Book, where also the notification to the Church of Baptism (MC Forms) will be completed for him.
PLEASE NOTE: Your wedding date will be officially confirmed after your first meeting with a Cathedral priest/deacon OR our reception of the INQUIRY FORM.
For Non-Parishioners:
- A signed PASTOR PERMISSION FORM from the pastor of each Catholic to be married must be given to the priest/deacon who is preparing you for your wedding. He will include it in the pre-nuptial file.
- The Cathedral is not able to provide a priest or deacon for the wedding of non-parishioners. It is the responsibility of the couple to select a Catholic priest/deacon from their own parish, family or friends who will be able to take care of all aspects of marriage preparation and the celebration of the marriage. The Catholic priest/deacon who will witness the wedding must return a signed INQUIRY FORM to the Pastor of the Cathedral indicating the following:
a.) That the couple is canonically free to marry;
b.) That he agrees to be responsible for ensuring the required marriage instructions are taken care of; that the required marriage papers are completed, including obtaining any necessary permissions or dispensations; that he will obtain necessary delegation; and that he will conduct the rehearsal and be present to celebrate the Wedding Mass or Service;
c.) That he brings all papers to the Cathedral after the wedding so they may be recorded by the Wedding Coordinator in the Sacramental Book, and where also the notification to the Church of Baptism (MC Forms) will be completed for him.
- The couple agrees to a service stipend as mentioned in the STIPEND section of this booklet.
PLEASE NOTE: These 3 steps must be completed before your wedding date can be officially confirmed. §
Making Selections for Your Wedding Liturgy
The marriage ritual provides a wide variety of options and choices for the wedding liturgy, including Scripture readings, the exchange of consent, blessings, etc. These options should be discussed beforehand with the priest or deacon who is to officiate.
The use of readings which are not taken from Scripture or the use of so-called “original vows” composed by the couple is not permitted by Church law. Downloading Scripture from the Internet is not recommended, since often it brings up translations that are not officially approved for liturgical use.
A couple may compose their own “Intercessions” or “Prayers of the Faithful” but this must be done with the assistance and approval of the priest/deacon who is to officiate, or the Cathedral Wedding Coordinator.
The Old and New Testament readings, and the Prayer of the Faithful may be proclaimed by a lay reader (lector). Therefore, in choosing lectors, one should be mindful of the acoustics of St. Paul Cathedral and select someone with a strong, clear voice and good enunciation. Anyone you select to serve as lector/cantor must be in appropriate, modest attire or they will be required to robe in a Cathedral alb and remain within the sanctuary during the wedding. §
Guidelines for Receiving Holy Communion
All members of the wedding party who are Catholics in good standing and are properly prepared (i.e. not in a state of serious sin) are encouraged to receive Holy Communion at the Nuptial Mass. Those who wish to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Penance) are urged to go to confession prior to the day of the wedding.
The United States Catholic Conference of Bishops has issued guidelines for Catholics and non-Catholics alike, in regard to the reception of the Eucharist. Please take the time to read these guidelines. Out of reverence for the Eucharist and to make your guests more comfortable by avoiding any confusion, it is strongly encouraged, if a couple is planning a wedding program, that they include the “Guidelines for Reception of Holy Communion” in their wedding program. §
Music Guidelines for the Rite of Marriage
These guidelines are enumerated on a separate page that may be found at the Wedding Music link. §
Altar Servers to Assist the Priest
The Cathedral staff will designate an altar server for the wedding who is familiar with the layout of the sanctuary and sacristy as well as with our wedding liturgy guidelines. However, friends or family of the bride and groom may also assist in serving the Mass, along with the Cathedral server, provided the priest/deacon officiating is made aware of their involvement prior to the rehearsal. §
Unity CandleAlthough the use of a Unity Candle is not an official part of the Marriage Rite, one may be used. (Some couples choose to have the unity candle ceremony at their wedding reception). If one is to be used, the couple shall be responsible for providing these candles and they should be brought to the Cathedral at the time of the rehearsal. (Please note: If the couple wishes to keep their unity candle after the ceremony, they should designate someone to retrieve it before leaving the Cathedral. We are not responsible for items left behind.) §
Before, During and After the Wedding Ceremony
Due to liability concerns and safety issues, the use of a crash/runner and any aisle candelabras are not permitted at the Cathedral . In light of the clean-up efforts and time constraints, the throwing of rice, birdseed, flower petals, or anything else of that nature as well as the release of balloons, butterflies, doves etc. IS NOT PERMITTED.
We respectfully ask you to keep the sacred space clean and neat. All pew decorations, used programs, and flower boxes or debris must be promptly removed after the ceremony.
With a sense of sincere gratitude, all flowers brought to the sanctuary for the wedding celebration must remain at the Cathedral for the enhancement of our worship site during the course of the following week. These flowers are considered an offering to the Lord. §
StipendsFor active registered members of St. Paul Cathedral Parish:
For active registered members of the Cathedral Parish, an offering of $300 is asked to cover any related expenses for the use of the Cathedral for your wedding celebration, including security. The organist's fee is separate and can be arranged with the Music Director during your wedding music consultation (see Music for the Rite of Marriage ).
For non-parishioners:
The couple agrees to a service stipend of $700 which includes an offering for the use of the Cathedral, the basic services* of the organist and Cathedral security. (Please note: other music-related fees such as cantors/soloists and instrumentalists must be negotiated with the Cathedral Music Director). A deposit of $350 must be received with your application form before the date can be confirmed, with the balance due no later than 3 months before the scheduled wedding. (*Basic services includes wedding music consult and playing for the wedding).
For both registered members and non-parishioners:
A gratuity of $20 for the altar server is customary (to be given directly to the server). §
I. Dressing procedures
For the sake of privacy, space and time, it is highly recommended that the bride and her immediate attendants arrive already fully dressed in modest attire for the wedding. St. Joan of Arc Chapel, located to the right of the Cathedral vestibule, is an area where the bride and her attendants may gather beforehand. (Please note: restrooms are located to the left of the Cathedral vestibule, down one floor.) Upon completion of the Cathedral renovation, a bride’s room will be available to your use.
II. Music
Arrangements for all aspects of the music for the wedding liturgy must be made through consultation with the Music Director at St. Paul Cathedral Parish. To arrange a meeting with the Music Director, use the information for phone or email on the "Contact us" link. The Director will assist you with music selections, and discuss other possible fees for cantors or instrumentalists. A comprehensive outline of musical guidelines is available on request.
III. Flowers
Florists are expected to follow the procedures as outlined in the separate "Forms and Letters" enclosure with this booklet. While flowers do serve as a decoration, they are also a symbolic offering . The altar flower arrangements shall remain in the Cathedral to enhance the future worship of others. There will be NO throwing of rice, birdseed or flower petals. The release of balloons, butterflies or doves is also not permitted .
Due to significant safety reasons and for our own liability protection it is imperative that a crash/runner and any aisle candelabras not be used.
IV. Photographers/Videographers
Those who take still photographs or make videotapes of the wedding ceremony must be aware of the sacred nature of this event. While photographers and videographers are permitted in the Sacristy, Narthex (vestibule) and Nave (main body) of the Cathedral, they are not to come into the sanctuary area (i.e. inside the communion rail). They must be discreet and respectful in all aspects of recording this sacred event.
The prudent use of flash is not regarded as objectionable; however, the use of additional temporary lighting (e.g. portable floodlights, reflective umbrellas) constitutes a serious distraction and cannot be allowed. Videographers are welcome to make use of the elevated television platforms located in each of the center sections of pews, near the first set of columns.
V. Programs
If you are preparing a program to be handed to your guests, it should be reviewed by the priest/deacon officiating at the wedding and/or the Cathedral Music Director before it is printed. The Catholic wedding liturgy must proceed in a certain order and contain certain elements regardless of how they might be represented in one's program. (Please note: All programs must be collected after the event, both used and unused, and removed from the Cathedral.)
VI. Marriage License
The couple is responsible for obtaining a civil marriage license from the State of Pennsylvania as required by civil law (contact the Register of Wills Department). The marriage license should be brought to the priest/deacon who will be witnessing the marriage at the time of the rehearsal.
VII. Parking
The Cathedral has very limited parking facilities. We encourage the use of street parking by all, and particularly by the bridal party. Extended use of the parking facilities, e.g. to attend the wedding reception cannot be allowed. Limos, trolleys, buses or other modes of transport should not block the driveway entrance of the Cathedral parking lot, this is a fire lane.
VIII. Proper Disposition
It is a matter of church law that the exchange of marriage vows requires full consent of one's will. To this end, we wish to be clear that the use of alcohol (or other chemical mind altering substances) is regarded as impairing the full and freely given consent required for a valid sacrament. Consequently, we will not permit alcoholic beverages in the Cathedral and environs. A bride or groom who has consumed alcohol and/or other substances prior to their arrival and appear impaired will necessitate the delay of the sacrament until an appropriate time.
IX. Proper Etiquette
Due to the sacred nature of the Cathedral Church , please remember that NO food, smoking or refreshments should be brought into the Cathedral. At any given time, the faithful community may be in the Cathedral to pray, please be respectful of their needs and refrain from loud conversations, running, or other inappropriate behavior. §